Facebook posts

This is a post I put on facebook because our Autistic 17 year old son posted a picture that THEY thought the post was NOT appropriate!! The picture was taken off google.com from the images section of BLUES CLUES, but drawn by someone else. Our son posts noting but blues clues on facebook. He loves the cartoon! Can you believe that the bad responses came from FAMILY? The picture was of two cartoon characters with Blue’s Clues shirts on (with the green stripes) and their butt cracks were showing, no private parts whatsoever!

With there sick minds, I guess they would think that it was inappropriate!!

My own brother was saying things like…”Are you sure your son isn’t gay?” And another who saw the picture had something to say about the two cartoon characters with there butt crack showing, but our son is so into “BLUES CLUES” it didn’t even phase our son, he only saw the BLUES CLUES SHIRTS!! I had a personal facebook message sent to me saying the picture was INAPPROPRIATE, and a message on another post that I can’t find from my brother saying “Are you sure he is not gay?” I just couldn’t believe it!!! I had to post on facebook because people with disabilities need to be treated fairly & correctly no matter what! Where is their understanding?

Start of posts:

*My Original Post:

To all of you that are concerned what my son is posting. He posted a picture that would look like… to the dirty mind, inappropriate! Our son saw it as “Blues Clues Shirts” he didn’t see the ass sticking out and two males “Possibly doing the dirty”?? Maybe it is better if you delete him. He is autistic and you need to understand the differences between mentally disabled and not. You need to understand the different lifestyle that we have and had to endure, and what our family goes through on a “Daily Basis”. What we have and had to “give up”. All the things that are different from what others live each day, that you don’t think about on a regular basis.This is why we are not able to be in public or to certain public get together/events, because sometimes it is too much for him to handle, and too hard for us parents to explain that he don’t see what we see. He thinks different than we do and he is very sensitive to outside surroundings. You would need to take a deeper look than just the surface of things and the normal everyday things that we all take for granted and just go and do. The hurt and pain our family goes through everyday, have you thought of that? You would need to see how blessed you are that you don’t have to change your life much to raise your children, try living in our shoes for once. Now I have people saying his posts are “not appropriate”. Others say…”they pray he is not gay” and much more. I suggest you evaluate your own lives. Have you ever stopped and thought how hard it is for parents of the disabled? I would appreciate it you take this day and evaluate your life and how you live it and the lives of others with disabled people in their family. It’s not only one here, but two disabled now. One autistic and one with a neurological disorder and Mom working very hard supporting three on a total from all of us on $19,000 a year!! Yes!! I said it!! I don’t care who knows, and maybe you all should know Then… after you get a really good picture of how good your life is and what you don’t have to sacrifice, how rich you really are, how you can pick up and go on vacations, how you can do the worldly things that we can’t (until the time is right) then you can comment to me. Otherwise unless you want to pay our bills and run our household for a lifetime, and go though the really challenging things in this life over here, you may want to mind your own business. What does it take for anyone to care about the poor, care for the disabled or mentally ill. Would you be able to handle it? Would you give up your life and daily pleasures to raise a child that needed major help? Do you even have a disabled child, how often can you go on vacation, have you ever been able to have a babysitter, what kind of job do you have, who got you the job, how much money do you have, how many doctors and psychiatrists do you have to visit monthly, how many rages has your child went through, how about their grades, do they have friends, honor roll and on and on!! Just so you know, his mental age is half his age, it is 8 years old, documented educationally. He is 16! It is mentally and physically impossible to watch his every move, every day. Please let us parents decide what is good for our son. Most of you don’t even know him personally, you never see him and why? really ask yourself why. How do you behave, what should we allow and not allow him to see that you do on fb and in your home? Would it ever affect him? did you ever ask us? Thanks, Stephanie

*Start of others replies:

GOOD JOB STEPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well said Stephanie. No one really understands or takes the time or trouble too. Love and hugs xxx

You must be a wonderful Mom and a strong woman!

Stephanie as a widow, mother and grandmother with a husband, child and grandmother with leaning disablities I can say that you are doing a wonderful job and I think that you are a wonderful mother.

steph i feel your pain, my son paul is almost 24 and is like a 4 year old mentally. He lives in a group home and comes home on the weekend and its still hard. people who have typical children could never understand the physical and emotional hardship we go through. It doesn’t matte what other people think or say , but it does hurt.It has been 20 years since i have had a “normal” holiday. Every major event in the family takes strategic measures to pull off. its exhausting but i would not want anyone else to be my sons mother, and I’m sure you feel the same about your son. Some how this journey we are on is on the path for a greater good, we just have to believe that.

Good for you Stephanie you definitely are a great mom for standing up for your son and his disability, you speak the truth people need to worry more about their own families and less of other peoples lives!!

You are an strong amazing female. People will always talk, they think it takes away from their mistakes.

Well said.

Wow babe! Im sorry that ignorant people made you have to explain anything to them! You always have been and always will be my hero and one of my dearest friends! Love you to the moon and back!!

You are strong,strong Lady. Brandon has love, your Family is so lucky to have you. Don’t let small, mean minds disrupt your family. That’s what the Unfriend button is for! They are their own problems. Shame on them.

*My Reply I wish I could take all of you above and give you a hug, the biggest hug in the world, the tightest squeeze I could for all your understanding and things you are sharing with me! I don’t mean any harm, I really don’t and never will. I may have to put a few more comments and hope to not fill up facebook with too much space smile emoticon.

*My reply

Thank you very much______ I will pray for you and your family and all you shared with me. You are very strong too, for sure! My mom has cancer too and didn’t mention it. I am really happy you wrote and especially when we don’t know each other. You are a great friend indeed! God Bless You all heart emoticon

Cousin, you don’t need to explain anything. God knows his heart and his mind. Don’t defend him…he’s ok. He’s going to be ok. And we are all going to be ok with it… or not. … but no sense on writing about it… even if he’s posting things that people think he’s gay… so what. Face book has become a place for the inappropriate a long time ago. Just don’t let the world chew him up… we’ll bite back hard.

Btw… how is your mother?!

*My reply

Love and hugs to you_________Your words are very encouraging to me.

*My reply

My mom is really having a hard time__________Her health is not good and everyday problems and extra problems are hard for her. I am trying to help but I wish I had enough money to quit my job and do for all of us. Fingers crossed for a miracle smile emoticon heart emoticon

*My reply

__________God Bless You heart emoticon smile emoticon

*My reply

_____________oh my..you have a heart and the 20 years since a normal holiday is a lot and I been feeling that similar feeling for 16. I believe your words for the journey and a greater good is exactly right and yes I am glad you wrote to remind me to BELIEVE AMEN!! heart emoticon Write anytime Maria! Thank you smile emoticon

*My reply

____________I understand not having to defend smile emoticon Just some things that needed to be said so the world can become a better place for the defenseless, LOL! Love you smile emoticon

*My reply

____________________________________and everyone that likes the comment, God Bless You All and Thank you for caring and spreading the word. No harm meant, just praying for understanding smile emoticon heart emoticon

Steph…your words were from the heart and spoken so well!!! God bless you for making the best of the situation god has given you and your family! Praying for your mom to have better days and for things to get a little easier for you all!! If anyone took offense to your post or offered offensive comments to you that caused you to feel the need to post this in the first place, they need to unfriend you and your family and leave you to associate with your true friends!! {hugs}

Good job Stephanie!

Oh my!!! That’s horrible…but GOOD FOR YOU!!! I had…yes HAD… a cousin who’s son was FB friends with Emily and she posted a picture of a saying and he clicked on it. Unfortunately the pic took him to a porn sight. Emily had no idea. Anyway my ex cousin posted some nasty words on our pages. Needless to say my entire immediate family deleted her and none of us have spoken since. Maybe all would have been fine if she would have apologized for her idiotic behavior and didn’t make my daughter look so bad. I feel your pain and screw the person that said anything. They’re just stupid! Stay strong! Love you!

*Son’s Dad’s Reply

Where are they now. Post something with reality and from the heart and they are not around. All they want to do is point fingers and tell you what you should do and what is right. Who the hell are you to tell me what is right, you do not know our situation. WHERE ARE YOU NOW WHERE ARE YOU NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*My Mom’s reply

I have been blessed to have such a loving, caring daughter! I love her husband Brian to pieces, he has a heart of gold! I have watched now for 16 long years my daughter and Brian try and put a roof over their heads, have enough food to feed themselves and have to sacrifice thing’s they need to give to their loving, kind, warmhearted son Brandon!! They have struggled so, so hard to make ends meet!! People do not realize the cost to raise an autistic child! I have watched them slowly sink, lose their home to foreclosure, seen their vehicle repossessed, no food in their home for themselves as they have given to their son, my grandson!! I have lived with them off and on when Brandon was a baby, you could not hold the beautiful child or he would scream! Do people know what it is like to have your first child and not able to hold him, or kiss him or hug him??? You want to give your love to him and can’t!!! I watched him when he was a baby while my daughter and her husband were out working, busting their asses to make ends meet! You could not hold him to feed him, nothing agreed with his digestive system, diarrhea constant, his belly cramping so bad and not a damn thing you could do to help him!!! Yes, years went by each and every day, a child that could constantly run around, climb on things, getting out of the house, the fear they live with each and every day!!! Brandon, on a good day would sleep 2 hours at the most, other days it was 1 hour!! They never slept,but constantly worked to try and get all that they needed for him! Their relationship went to hell, their lives changed drastically, from day one they have never been able to sleep together, my loving daughter had to sleep with her son everyday for fear of him harming himself and all the fear they held inside not knowing what was wrong! All the doctors, all the tests, oh so much, I don’t know if I could ever do it! They have an option to put him in a home but choose not to, they love him too much! All the time it took my daughter to convince everyone that their was something wrong with their child!!! It’s pretty bad when you have to figure out yourself and convince others that your son is not normal, that he is autistic! I believe he was around 3 years old when finally someone listened and began to give them some help! Brandon talked in the beginning when a normal child would began to talk but then, one day for some reason he stopped??? Who knows why??? It took so, so much of my daughter and Brian to figure out a way to get him to talk again and know one would ever believe what they went threw to get him back to talking, I even helped and learned by them what to do to get him to start saying words again, it was a long journey for them but, they did it by the grace of God! Brandon’s mind does not think like our brain, it’s very difficult to explain but, if you care enough and love enough you keep going until something works, and my daughter and Brian stuck to it and me also and one day he said the word “green”!!! I never felt so happy n all my life! Autism is different in each case, none are the same! Brandon’s favorite show on TV was Blues Clues and I can remember having to rewind the VCR for him to parts that made him laugh and smile and feel happy inside! Movies they watched and he would say wind and you would have to rewind the tape to the funny parts he liked but then he became verbal and all because of the patience my daughter and Brian had! Please, before you post something that you think is wrong or obscene that my grandson posts, please go to his page and look back on what he has on it, he is not looking at Steve and Joe and what they are doing, he is looking at their clothes, the way they dress because that is how he dresses everyday!!! The clothing he wears is exactly like Steve, he can imitate Steve to a tee!!! I say, thank God for Blues Clues my grandson now talks and I can carry on a conversation with him and I can hug him and even now give him a small kiss on his forehead and you will never know the joy in my heart to be able to finally talk to him and express my love for him! I now have tears in my eyes of the joy he has brought into my life, I now feel whole with him and I thank God everyday for having a daughter who loves and cares enough to give all her heart and energy to him and a father who has the patience to help as much as he can when he has many new medical issues! Hey, I love you Stephanie and Brian and my precious innocent autistic grandson who has a heart of gold, without you in my life I would have nothing! Don’t worry what other’s think or post about him, you know his heart and why he does what he does and if other’s don’t understand then maybe they should use there computers to read about autism and learn or just FRIGGIN DELETE HIM!! God is on our side buddy!!!!! heart emoticon

What a beautiful explanation! So many things that people do not know about autism and it’s care. I think that all of you have done an excellent job. Yes, it was extremely hard and probably will continue to be very difficult, but you will do it and to heck with all of the other narrow minded people. You don’t need them in your life! Love ya

*My reply

Thank you __________ for your understanding, your loving heart! god bless you!!! heart emoticon

*My reply

some people are afraid, some don’t want to try, some don’t want to help, some can’t help, some don’t care, some hold grudges, some are angry, some are jealous, some only help if you help them, and so on. I know you are not able to help others like you want to. If they want to be that way then let them. You can’t convince someone you are unable if they don’t want to believe you. Try not to worry about it. The Lord will take care of us. I love you heart emoticon

*My reply

I Love your awesome message and memory! You just reminded me of a lot! I love that you see our hearts and can’t thank you enough for watching us grow and noticing what you noticed! Your amazing and you have a special heart! Kinda tired and can’t think well. I will write you a personal message smile emoticon Thanks & Hope to talk soon, heart emoticon Steph

*My reply

Thank you _________ I am so glad you & my Mom met long ago! It’s like you still live across the street! Thanks for the hope you bring us! heart emoticon Steph

*My reply

________________that is so rotten. They could have had a virus on their computer! and to blame you is plain crazy! I am so sorry you had to go through that. I hope one day they realize that your daughter would never do something like that on purpose! Thank you so much Kim!! Hugs to you and your family heart emoticon

*My reply

Your words are always so encouraging to hear smile emoticon Thanks for your prayers and I will be praying for you too heart emoticon heart emoticon heart emoticon

Someone writing to my Mom’s post
I’m sure you don’t remember me, but your daughter was (and still is) one of my most cherished childhood friends! I’m so glad we reconnected on here a few years back! When she caught me up on her life that I had missed out on over the years, I remember thinking “man, I dont know if I could handle all of the challenges and struggles that come with the blessing (Brandon) God has given them”! I never questioned how SHE does it! She was always a kind, generous and determined person, so I already knew how she had the strength and the faith to keep doing it every day! I just want to say “Thank you” for giving birth to this great lady (and her little brother Steve), for living in Roseville so I was able to receive the blessing of her friendship AND for being a wonderful mother/grandmother so full of love and support for Steph and her family! Most of us think “well, thats what mothers do, its not a big deal”! Unfortunately, not all families are so loving and supportive now a days! It IS a big deal, especially given the enormous weight you all carry! God bless you and may he give you strength to continue to be a great mother/grandmother and may he heal you soon and continue to give your entire family the strength and courage you all deserve so much!!

**ANOTHER FACEBOOK POST: FROM MY SON WHO HAS AUTISM.

After at least 100 times of being in the car delivering Newspapers and so many outrages and foot banging, window bashing, hitting, biting, at home and in the car. At the same time so hard to work myself and try to concentrate on things, feeling exhausted and nuts most of the time. On the other hand, He can’t miss a day of delivery. Very time consuming, but he communicated perfectly after talking through it and calming down, he said THE WALL!!! is blocking me!! I asked him to draw a picture the next day, and he had drew it before I even woke up!!!! He included the calming pic we talked about, and the brick wall that he wants to zap with lightening!! Is this the beginning of his realization of the struggles of Autism?? I pray and hope and wish for God’s wisdom and strength and energy to keep going forward in getting him to communicate and make progress. He said this is the wall he sees. He says the wall does nothing but make him angry and that’s why he acts out. WOW!!

Stephanie Lynn Hoski's photo.

November 23, 2012 ·

**I POST FROM ME

Very Sorry to let so many people down these past few days & years. I wish I could explain, but it would take very long. The life I was given was meant for a reason, and I’ve had to work with and around that reason for many years, in ways I have never expected. Ways that are wrong, and ways that are right, and in ways that I did not want to. I have had to try & fit it all in, and it is just not possible, but I still try each day. Yes it has gotten better in some ways, but worse in some too. I know the reason and why I am supposed to do it on one note, and I am very Thankful to God that I was chosen for the job. For the rest that comes with it I haven’t a clue how I am supposed to manage and put it altogether. Just want to let you all know that I do care about you. I’ve had to give up myself too and what I like, wanted & what I thought was the best to do. I’m sure that there is a reason for that too, and I don’t think I am supposed to know why. I do know that it makes me mad at times, but I wouldn’t want to change it, because I would be letting a lot more people down. I’m not depressed, not lonely, not trying to complain, just thought I should let everyone know what I am up against in case you are looking for answers to your unanswered questions. Have a Great Day! May you find Peace, Love, Joy, Happiness in all you do, however we are supposed to do it. God Bless you all!!

 

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